By Maryam F Nisar
In Pakistan marriage is deemed sacred, owing to the teachings of our religion Islam. Islam has laid strict injunctions against divorce and has advised Muslims to find out ways of rebuilding this pious relationship amid husband and wife. Nevertheless, the escalation of the divorce rate in Pakistan is extremely distressing.
In accordance with a research carried out, it is alarming to know that the proportion of divorces in Pakistan has superseded the numeral of love matrimonial. However, a sector of society is of the opinion that high degree of expectations from both ends leads to breakups in love marriages. At the same time, some people hold the ground that in our country, arranged marriages are a cause of annulment of this sacred bond.
The elongated familial abuses in a Pakistani society and the undue domination of men over women are one of the leading causes of divorces. Women are taken as dummies, devoid of any feelings and emotions who are supposed to abide by everything that is being structured by their male counterparts. This paves way to physical, verbal and mental torment compelling the suffering woman to look for severance or in adverse circumstances, even divorce.
Pecuniary conditions and economic indiscretion also play a licentious role in divorce. In our country, generally, the male member is the lone wage earner of the family unit. This together with a burden of a bigger family adds to the deteriorating financial system of the family unit which makes it impossible to get the wants and desiresof the wife to be fulfilled.
Under such grave circumstances, the woman, if not acquainted with such relegation, decides to opt for divorce.
Among the middle-class in Pakistan, one of the major causes of divorce is when both spouses are employed; here trust deficit arises. Absence from home and long official working hours
direct towards an insignificant shortfall of trust, which in some cases may be established and in others unestablished. Trust, no doubt is the basis of a strong and intimate relationship and in the absence of trust no affiliation can flourish.
Sometimes arranged or forced marriage also leads to divorce, particularly when both partners-to-be are opposed to tie the matrimonial knot, but are compelled to do so following family pressure. Such marriages usually result in break-ups. Either of the partners is interested elsewhere which severely causes negative effects on the marriage, resulting in divorce or separation.
Mostly situation is aggravated when acquaintances consider it as their utmost duty to lend a hand in solving the couple’s marital disputes, which takes the shape of undue and negative interference and adds fuel to fire. Inclusion of taunts and ruthless words further weakens the deteriorating bond between the husband and wife which leads to break-up of marriage.
It must be understood by all and sundry that divorce or separation doesn’t mean the culmination of a bond only, but the termination of a family unit too. It is not only the couple who has to pay the cost, but the children have to undergo this agony too for no fault of theirs.
It is sincerely advised to couples with recurring problems to go for counseling in order to hunt for an elucidation to their fading marriage, rather than looking for a permanent ending. — Pak Destiny